and an Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Boogie Man and whatever damn else I can use to bribe you with.
This time of year seems not only brings out the goofy holiday cheer in me, but also often makes me think of my childhood during the month of December. It was the eighties, so being in a choir singing songs about "our Lord," decorating our class Christmas tree with nativity scene ornaments and saying "Merry Christmas" all the time was normal. Today, kids stick to singing Jingle Bells, usually the only Christmas tree in classrooms are the paper ones the kids cut out themselves and we tend to say Happy Holidays. None of this bothers me. I'm not ranting about religion, beliefs or "non-denominational" Christmas like my mother does after a bottle of sherry. I respect everyone's freedom to celebrate the holiday as they like. But for the love of Christ, leave Santa and the Easter Bunny out of it!
I am a new parent. My daughter is 14 months old and we have our second due in June. I would love to sit back and say that both will be perfect and they will listen to everything I say. "Ava, brush your teeth." "OK, daddy, I love you." HA!!!!!! Keep dreaming. So what am I to do if my kids refuse to brush their teeth? Am I going to sit a five year old Ava down for an hour's lecture on the horrible risks of tooth decay and bleeding gums, or am I going to to tell her that the Tooth Fairy doesn't come to kids with rotten teeth? I think we both know the answer...
This time every year there is always some story about people complaining about how we've forgotten the True Meaning of Christmas and the story of Santa is a mockery to what we "should" be celebrating. I can't help but wonder if these people are childless. Or perhaps they are such great parents that there is no time in December when their child is behaving so aggravatingly that they don't have to break out the Santa threats.
Don't get me wrong. I will teach my kids the meaning of Christmas and Easter the same way I learned it - sitting them down and and making them watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Passion of the Christ in succession. You're right Mr Grinch, Christmas did come without ribbons. It did come without tags. It did come without packages, boxes and tags. I get it. I really, really get it.
I understand that people celebrate Christmas in different ways. Some have Santa, some don't. Between the age of nine (when I found out the truth about Santa) until Ava was born, I never gave it a second thought. I'd read these articles year after year and think it was a good debate. But today? What am I seriously going to do without him when come Christmas Eve my kids won't sleep? "Children, it's bed time! If you don't go to sleep you won't get any, uh, turkey tomorrow night!"?
In the end, I don't think Santa was really this saint from Holland who gave gifts to the less fortunate. I think it was some fat old dude back in the third century who was home with his kids one night. They were probably terrorizing the house by throwing cobble all over the place or chiseling their names in the wall when daddy just couldn't take it anymore and told them to be quiet or they won't get the roman statuettes he'd just bartered for. That hushed them up. He bragged to all his friends about how he got his kids to be good by bribing them with gifts and the story took off from there. Eitherway, I will do the same whether in December or April or whenever my kid loses a tooth.
Happy Holidays all.
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Grinch followed by The Passion of the Christ? Bahahahahahahaha! Haven't laughed that hard since... reading your wife's facebook discussion about buying a car. You two should really go on the road. From: Heather
ReplyDeletePS: Threatening me with no turkey would have worked every time. Just sayin'.